Just Fishin’

By Lu Lewis and Edna Varne

Lu takes the helm in this article about

spending quality time with our children

Whether you’re a country fan in general or a Trace Adkins fan in particular, you should google the lyrics to his song, “Just Fishin’,” or YouTube it (Note our new 21^st century verbs).  In it, the singer talks about all he’s learning from his daughter, and all she’s learning without knowing it.

She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout, what’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in, and she thinks we’re just fishin’.

We like the message of this song because it makes the point that the formal education children get from teachers and books is only part of what they carry with them throughout life.  The other part is measured in the moments we spend with our children, just getting to know them, getting to know what they are curious about, and getting to feed their wonder through every day activities.

When is the last time you responded to a child’s natural inclination to ask those questions that seem to bubble up from nowhere?     In his book, Father Knows Less, author Wendell Jamieson says,  “Once the questions start, they never stop. Everything a child sees or hears is a mystery waiting to be unraveled, pulled apart, dissected, explained.”

Jamieson was recalling one day that when he was a young reporter he gave policemen doughnuts to put them in a talking mood, and his son promptly asked, “Why do policemen like doughnuts?” Like many who hear jokes about policemen and doughnuts, Jamieson was curious himself and felt the question was worthy of a metaphorical fishing trip.   He called a police officer friend to ask his opinion and got at least one explanation:  Policeman like doughnuts because you can get them almost anywhere.  If you’re eating one and you get an emergency call, you can just toss it out the window and go. We don’t know whether Jamieson and son turned this into a full-blown research project or settled for that answer, but the point is, they turned a simple question into an opportunity to learn together.    How many of us miss that opportunity with an “I don’t know, and stop asking silly questions!”

Journalist Tim Russert, the master at asking questions, appeared for more than 16 years as the longest-serving moderator of NBC’s Meet the Press before his untimely death.    We wonder how he got so good at asking questions and we think the answer may be in his first bestseller, Big Russ & Me:  Father and Son Lessons of Life.  (The book prompted more than 60,000 letters from sons and daughters who responded with memories of quality time with their fathers. Russert shared their letters in his follow-up bestseller, Wisdom of our Fathers:  Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons.) One reviewer wrote about Big Russ & Me:  “Russert takes us through his Irish-American 1950s childhood at Jesuit school to his recent years with Meet the Press. Along this successful journey, ‘Little Russ’ learns life lessons from his father, dispensed through pithy nuggets over the kitchen table.” Do we need any further proof that time spent with our children matters?

While Russert was known for asking great questions, lucky for us, we don’t have to be that good at engaging our audiences because children are full of wonder and constantly trying to figure out how the world works.  Forgive us for inserting a joke here to make the point, but you’ll find this one and more like it to convince you on the website, The Questions Kids Ask at www.onlyfunnystories.com/Questions-Kids.ask.

Four year old Joe is in the surgery’s waiting room with his mom when he sees a pregnant lady sitting on a bench on the opposite wall.  Having nothing better to do, Joe saunters over to her and with wide eyes full of curiosity and asks “Why is your stomach so big?”

The lady calmly replies with a smile, “Because I’m having a baby.” With eyes as large as saucers, Joe asks, “Is the baby in your tummy?”

“She sure is,” replies the lady charmed by the little kid’s innocent question.

“Is it a good baby,” asks Joe with a puzzled look on his face.

“Oh, yes. I’m sure it’s a really good baby,” says the lady with good humor thinking how incredibly cute the little kid is and looking forward to what he might say next…

At this point much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, Joe asks, “Then why did you eat her?”

We rest our case!

The next big question then becomes, “When do we find the time in our busy lives to spend quality time with children?”  To start answering that one, go back to Trace Adkins.   We can carve out plenty of time during our day when we’re just walking—noticing the fall foliage or the herons on the river walk, just shopping—encouraging as many questions as your child can ask to turn the market into Ye Olde Curiosity Shop. Just cooking—make every meal a science experiment, just watching television—Did you know this movie is based on a book and the book has a lot more good stuff in it?  Just washing the car, just waiting at the dentist’s office, just painting the apartment, just raking the leaves, just driving to see the grandparents, just bowling, just shooting hoops in the back yard, just fishin’!