Rediscovering play

“Children will awaken your playful self—if you let them.”

By Janis Hashe

Photos by Julie Hogue

Play is inextricably linked to childhood in our minds. But what does “play” actually mean to a child, and what’s a parent’s role in it?

“Just after food, air, water and love, comes play (as a need). Is there any bigger disaster than the 20 percent drop in play time over the past two decades—thanks to television, electronics and organized sports?” asks Aaron Cooper, PhD, author, clinical psychologist, and educator with The Family Institute at Northwestern University.

“Children who play today smile tomorrow,” he says. “Play is arguably the single-most important activity that lays a foundation for authentic happiness in kids’ lives.”

So if play is that important, why are kids playing less? And what can a concerned parent do about it—and should they be playing along?

A national telephone survey commissioned by toy catalog HearthSong found that although 99 percent of the parents surveyed agreed that play was important, 62 percent play with their children, on average, less than one hour a day.

What play means—and what it does

“How children play is one of the vital signs of a child’s health,” explains Joan Almon, chair of the Alliance for Childhood, a nonprofit organization currently conducting a multi-year project “to restore open-ended, child-initiated play to children’s lives.” To that end, Almon has been meeting with representatives of Chattanooga’s Creative Discovery Museum and Chattanooga playground-equipment maker PlayCore.

Almon says Israeli researcher Sarah Smilansky identified two types of play: “manipulative,” in which a young child might take a toy car, for example, and say, “vroom vroom”; and “socio-dramatic,” in which a child engages in imaginative play, such as making up a story, often with other children. “A ‘play-deprived’ child might be 4 or 5 and still engaging only in manipulative play,” Almon says.

According to a 2006 study by the American Association of Pediatrics, she says, “Parents are no longer getting the message about how important imaginative play is.”

And it’s important almost from birth. “Infants 6 months old can be given a basket of safe toys to explore,” Almon says. “Play is a baby’s work. And they need parents to play with them.”

“Research tells us that true play enables kids to build flexible brains,” Dr. Cooper explains. “It’s how they learn to become socially adept and develop optimism about problem-solving.”

And play is not just for babies. All children—indeed all humans—continue to need play.

Counselor and social worker Melanie Barton, EdD, says research on the effects of play on preschoolers showed that play had a positive effect on language development. “And things as simple as teaching measuring by using sand from a sandbox and a cup increase hand-eye coordination and are the beginnings of math,” she says.

One family’s play time

Chattanooga parents Chuck and Heidi Henderson have made playing with their 4-year-old daughter, Kylie Rose, a big part of their life.

“She was a very active child from very early on,” says Heidi, adding that Kylie Rose is already playing sports, including tennis, softball and gymnastics. But indoor games are important, too. “She’ll get her Barbies together and make up things about them. She’ll tell us a story. Sometimes,” she says, laughing, “she’ll put makeup on Daddy.”

Kylie Rose also loves art and crafts, and as an only child, has learned to play happily on her own, drawing and making things. “We’ll get out the glue and make a mess,” Heidi says.

Chuck, who has his own business, is able to spend more time with Kylie Rose than many dads, and Heidi knows this is a gift. “But I think everyone can make a little time in the morning, or maybe in the evening, for play,” she says.

Gadget-free games

“It’s hard to wean children from electronic toys if that’s all they’ve ever known,” says Beverly Fries, an expert in nature-related toys. “Parents need to provide other types  of opportunities from the beginning. And it’s really vital not to over-structure kids’ time, and encourage unstructured play time.”

Outdoor play time also builds physical skills, Dr. Barton says, “and helps children become observant learners, as opposed to reactive learners.”

“Outdoor play enables kids to connect with nature,” says Almon. “And they love being outdoors in all kinds of weather. Battery-operated and electronic toys do much of the playing for the child. They do not encourage a high level of creativity. Children can become addicted to video games, computers and TV. Their imaginations are being drowned out.”

When children push to “plug in,” parents shouldn’t be afraid to push back, Dr. Cooper adds. “Kids say, ‘I’m bored,’ looking for a parent to rescue them. Resist the ploy, I advise families. Let kids fall back on their imagination. Play teaches them that they have the power within themselves to make things happen, to pass the time, to turns ideas into realities.”

“Once parents limit the ‘screen time,’ which is hard in the beginning, they come back to me and say, ‘I never knew what a wonderful, playful child I had,’” Almon says.

“You play, too”

“Taking time to just be with one’s children is the most valuable gift we can give,” says Dorothea Hover-Kramer, EdD. “Forget the gadgets, television and external diversions. Regular family time at least once a week for games, puttering around and sharing popcorn or other food will be fondly remembered long after the children have grown up. They will know their parents gave of themselves—not just their money.”

University instructor and author Pat Wyman adds, “I know the value of play for children, especially when it comes to spending time with their parents. It increases bonding and lets kids see that parents are not only disciplinarians and schedulers.

“Play time with parents also increases a child’s sense of self and ability to be random, and improves their sense of humor. They can look at life in whole new ways when their parents spend play time with them.

“I used to take off from work, and take my kids out of school about once every three or four months, just to spend the day with each of them, doing all the fun things they wanted. It was our ‘very special’ time together, and we all loved it.”

“You don’t have to have an immaculate house,” Barton says. “Lay out clothes for school ahead of time so you have a moment in the morning. Play flashlight tag at night. Make ‘story before bed’ also a time for a riddle or a joke.”

“If you coax your children into play, they recognize what they’ve been missing,” says Fries. “Find time for a tent.”

And as many parents admit, play time gives them a chance to regain the pure happiness of childhood.

“I had Barbies, too, and so I get to be a child again,” says Heidi Henderson. “You get wrapped up in it, and it’s an expression of your unconditional love for your child.”