Smart advice for Chattanooga parents

by Mohsin Ali, MD.

Toddler’s solitary play concerns mom

Dear Childwise:
My concern involves my son’s daycare provider. My son is 2 1/2 and very shy and quiet. His babysitter takes care of several children in her home. Whenever I come to pick him up, he’s always off in a corner quietly playing by himself while the other children seem to be more involved in group activity. I don’t want him not to have friends, and I feel like it’s the babysitter’s responsibility to draw him into the group more. What do you think?
Shy Mom

Dear Shy Mom:
Your son seems to have a quiet and shy temperament or style (I wonder where he got that from?!) and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. He is also at the age when children typically start to play with each other, rather than just playing beside each other. I would suggest that he be encouraged to interact with the other children, but not be pushed too much to do so. Playing by himself is also a fun and important developmental task, and he may learn to be quite independent. Please make sure he has appropriate toys available to play with, like construction toys (Legos), child-size tools, dolls and dressing-up clothes. Ask the babysitter to try to get him involved with the other children and maybe encourage the other children to befriend him—but this might not work. He will learn to make friends his own way, when he wants, as long as he has the opportunities and role models.

Will religious education cause confusion?

Dear Childwise:
I am considering a private school for my child next year (he will be in kindergarten). The school that seems to be the best one academically is affiliated with a religion to which my family does not belong. I have toured the school and they have told me my son would be expected to attend religious services with his class a couple of times a week as well as special-occasion religious events. Do you think it might be confusing for him to learn about a different religion at school than we practice at home, and is it worth the better academic environment?
Undecided

Dear Undecided:
There are many things to consider as you evaluate school options for your child, and academic environment is one of the most important. You should also consider the overall culture of the school, behavioral expectations, discipline practices, and the attitude of school staff towards families, including families of different faiths. You should confirm that it is not the intention of the staff to try to convert your child to their religion—it almost never is. You should make sure you feel comfortable and welcome in the school. If you like most things about the school, it is probably worth placing your child there.
To prevent confusion for your child, participate actively in his religious life at home. As he grows older, you can point out the similarities and differences between the two religions. Most religions have very similar guidance about how to treat other people, so this should be easy. He will become familiar with your religious practices and rituals from your family and social circle. From this close experience with different religions, he may grow to know his own faith very well and respect the faith of others.