Meet Mini-Me

Alison Lebovitz

They say it’s the little things in life that make you happy. I say it’s the “mini” things. That’s because after three kids, two carpools and countless oaths to the contrary, I am now a bona fide minivan mama. Go ahead, start the taunting, the heavy sighs and the head-shaking. But before you start throwing stones out of your glass car, let me assure you that I was once in your place.
It wasn’t so long ago that I, too, was an SUV snob. I drove my tank around town like I was ruler of the road, and looked down on those minivans like they were the muck of the earth. I liked my height. I loved my space. I basked in the feeling of power. And no one was going to convince me to downgrade my Suburban to such a sorry substitute. But in hindsight, I know I was merely suffering from “mini envy.”
It all started a few years ago, when my family and I went to Ohio to visit some friends who have four kids. When they picked us up from the airport in their minivan—a Honda Odyssey, to be exact—it was all I could do not to roll my eyes and laugh. But as we started to drive, something strange happened. I got this funny feeling in my stomach and a huge grin across my face. And then, as if seeing a minivan for the first time, I said, “Wow, this is an awesome car.”
Honestly, I still don’t know what came over me. I can only liken this epiphany to the way a person might know another person for a long time, might see them as a casual friend, with no potential for a long-lasting relationship. And then, one day, they see this person in a totally different light and soon realize they want to spend the rest of their life with them. Or, in this case, the next 200,000 miles.
So for the past three years, I’ve been driving my very own mini miracle—in black, of course. (I might have lost my mind, but I still have my dignity!) And, just three months after I bought a minivan, my husband had a similar epiphany and traded in his SUV for a minivan as well. (I like to say that I drive a minivan, and he drives a manivan.)
Admittedly, I have since become something of a mini maniac. I often find myself convincing friends, family or even perfect strangers to buy minivans of their own, and lately I have contemplated living in my car. Seriously. Just consider the mini benefits:
1. Automatic convenience. My husband will agree that the automatic doors alone are reason to buy this vehicle. And it takes only a single trip to the mall in the rain with three kids in tow to truly appreciate this feature. An added bonus: Automatic doors increase your child’s speed and agility, as you often find yourself yelling, “Hurry, you better get out before the door closes!”
2. Entertainment for the whole family. It has XM radio and a DVD player built right in. With the use of wireless headphones, the kids can watch a movie while I listen to Headline News. Everyone is happy, plus no one is fighting over the remote.
3. Family dinners made easy. Every seat has its own cup holder, so we can always eat our meals on the road. And the rubber mats make cleanups a cinch. This means spending more quality time together and saving countless hours setting and clearing a formal table.
4. Built-in obedience. While in the minivan, all three of our boys are strapped in with seatbelts at all times and at arms-length apart from each other. This provides a safe, battle-free zone that promotes more dialogue between them and less discipline from me.

For most parents, a car is more than just a mode of transportation—it is a way of life. On any given day, my minivan also doubles as an office, a classroom, a theater, a library, a restaurant, a conference room or a napping place. (I am still working on a bathroom and a shower.) And as we drive around town, I feel like we are the modern day Partridge Family, going from one gig to another in our happy little family mobile. Sometimes you can even hear us singing the theme song, “…c’mon get hap-PY!”
But for those of you, like my dear friend Carolyn, who are reading this, still shaking your head in disgust and thinking, “That will never be me. I will never drive a minivan,” I encourage you to at least test-drive one and see for yourself. In fact, if you are ever in the neighborhood, you are welcome to borrow mine. Just make sure my kids recline their seats before they go to bed.