A new way forward

Mother and daughter launch support network for teen moms

By Allison Gorman

Photo by Bryan R. Scott

When Caitlin Maddux announced she might be pregnant, her mother didn’t speak to her for three days.
It was March 2007, and Caitlin—barely 16 and a sophomore at Hixson High School—had broken the news in the car after cheerleading practice. Her mom, Judy, drove straight to the drugstore to pick up a pregnancy test and, when it turned out positive, lapsed into stunned silence.
“I cried, and I didn’t speak to her,” Judy recalls, “and she thought I was angry. But I really wasn’t. I just didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I didn’t want to say all the things that were going through my mind that most people say—you know, ‘How could you be so stupid?’ I was quiet because I wanted to say the right thing, not a gut-wrenching thing.”
She also worried about her husband. The Madduxes had endured many crises with their four children, including the death of their grown son. “My husband is an angel,” Judy says, “but it was just like, ‘This is crazy.’ I didn’t know if he could take one more thing.”
Her heartbreak felt strangely familiar. Again she was mourning the loss of a life—in this case, the future she had envisioned for her youngest daughter.
“It was like the death of all these dreams and hopes; everything just stopped. And I didn’t want that for her. It scared me for her.”
For three days, the Maddux family was in a state of suspended animation. Then they picked themselves up, surveyed the changed landscape, and found a new way forward.

An alarming trend

To Caitlin and her parents, dropping out of school “was never an option,” Caitlin says. Though it was a struggle, she finished her sophomore year and took summer courses so she could combine her junior and senior years. Her son, Kobe, was born Nov. 8, 2007; Caitlin graduated from Hixson High School the following spring.
In the meantime, Judy had noticed something that alarmed her.
“A lot of the people at the school started getting pregnant after I got pregnant,” says Caitlin, who counts off seven names, rapid-fire, before stopping to think if she’s missed someone.
Judy admits she’s both frustrated and mystified by the trend. “I’m trying to figure it out,” she says. “It’s not just pregnancy; the sexual mores have really changed. . . . Parents just don’t know what to do. I mean, I have a very open relationship with my daughters. I told Caitlin, if you even consider that your relationship might go there, please talk to me so you can go to the doctor. Looking back, my advice to moms is, if you think you need to have that conversation with your child, you need to take them to the doctor last month.”
Caitlin blames carelessness for most of the pregnancies, including her own. But she also suggests some girls crave the attention they think pregnancy will bring. In her case, she says, “it wasn’t so much that I was pregnant; it was who it was with, because he was a football player and a basketball player. Everybody knew who he was. And everyone acted like they were my friend while I was pregnant. They always came up to me and talked to me, and as soon as I had the baby, everything was back to normal. . . . I don’t talk to them any more.”

Network for teen moms

Of course, when a baby enters the picture, nothing ever goes “back to normal.” That’s especially true for the teenage mother, for whom the vocabulary of high school, with its proms and pep rallies, is suddenly obsolete. She doesn’t have the luxury of a learning curve or a linear path to independence: high school, college, career, parenthood. Everything comes at once, or not at all.
Caitlin had the benefit of supportive parents, who agreed that she and Kobe would live with them while she attended college and became better equipped to live on her own. Still, Judy knew that her daughter—and all those other teen moms—needed a crash-course in adulthood. They needed to know, now, how to write a resume, stick to a budget, access community resources. They needed parenting instructions in subjects like healthy discipline, nutrition, and child development. And they needed a network—a group of other teen moms who could offer non-judgmental support and advice.
So together, Caitlin and Judy Maddux formed Hixson Teen MOPS, a charter of MOPS International, a grassroots networking group. The local group meets weekly at Hixson United Methodist Church, where members can drop their children at the nursery, socialize with their peers, and learn a life skill from one of the speakers the Madduxes have lined up.
Caitlin has been a formidable recruiter for Hixson Teen MOPS, which now has 10 active members. Judy hopes they will help one another buck the trend typically seen with teen mothers: multiple out-of-wedlock pregnancies.
Caitlin, for one, seems determined to secure her own future. Now working and attending Chattanooga State, she hopes to go into law enforcement.
“Her patience level with high school drama has gone way down,” Judy remarks. “That’s one of the things I’ve noticed about her: She’s really matured beyond that point.”
Only when Caitlin details her own part in that drama does she seem every bit the high school kid she still should be. In the world of here and now, Hixson High feels awfully far away.

About Hixson Teen MOPS

Hixson Teen MOPS is dedicated to supporting and encouraging young women aged 16 to 22 who are pregnant or parenting.
The group meets 6–8 p.m. Mondays at the Friendship House, Hixson United Methodist Church, 5301 Old Hixson Pk. Child care is provided.
For more information or for volunteer opportunities, e-mail HixsonTeenMops@gmail.com or call Judy Maddux at 843-0985.