Live and Learn: Lu Lewis and Edna Varner

Enjoy turkey without all the “stuffing”

Edna, here. The holiday season is fast approaching and if you are like me, the turkey isn’t the only thing that will be stuffed when the friends and relatives arrive. At my house, this includes closets, the space under beds, “off-limits” rooms, the basement and the garage. Since I cannot figure out how I accumulate so much stuff, I am convinced that people are breaking into my home at night and depositing clutter while I sleep.
Obviously, those of us who struggle with “stuff” are not alone, because the question of the month for the October 2008 issue of Real Simple magazine was, “What is your best easy organizing tip?” Readers from across the country sent great ideas that ranged from opening the mail over the recycle bin to donning the headphones and dancing your way to a clean house. My favorite tip was written by Tara Williams from right here in Chattanooga. Her advice: “If it doesn’t make you smile, toss it out.”
I love that advice, Tara, and it is beginning to work (smile). My problem is that I smile about everything. Lu has taken me on as a project, counseling me the way she counsels kindergartners. (You should know that at any given moment, Lu’s house looks like the cover of Southern Living.) Her suggestions, below, are for children of all ages.

Lu on raising kids to conquer the clutter
Looking into the room where your children play can be a cause for cardiac arrest. Before you or someone you love becomes the next passenger in an emergency vehicle, bear in mind that keeping children’s things in order can be an overwhelming, never-ending task. It is important that children learn early to keep their things in order, and research has revealed some interesting reasons why parents should make “picking up stuff” a team sport.
Classifying develops higher-order thinking skills, so why not help children put their things away, using classifying as a learning strategy? Toys with wheels, for example, can go in the red bin, and toy people in the blue bin.
So what about toy animals? Think with your child about reasons why they should or should not be in the bin with people. You will either boost your child’s science grades or add to your collection of really cute stories to share when the relatives are in town for Thanksgiving.
Limiting clutter sparks creativity. Nothing is more fun than tents made of blankets and chairs or different configurations of large appliance boxes that become second homes for best buddies. Children need space to create. Clutter limits the space for play, so think “less.” Remove the clutter and clear the way for children’s imaginations to run free. A bonus may be a significant reduction in some unexplained frustrations and anger. (Remember what happened to those mice when scientists experimented by crowding them into confined spaces?)
Some helpful suggestions for clearing the clutter:

∑ Designate an area for toy storage. Some parents have found colored bins helpful. Others designate shelves or a toy box. Whatever you decide, make sure your expectations are in sync with your child’s developmental age. Solutions for teens must be very different from solutions for your kindergartener.
∑ Be consistent. Be consistent. Be consistent. Always clean up after play; make a game of it to get it done quickly. If you know you will not have much time to clean up before you are off to pick up a child after practice, limit the toys you pull out, so you can spend more time playing but still have time to put things away. With consistency, you can form childhood habits that last a lifetime.
∑ Save special toys for rainy days rather than pulling out all the toys each time children play. The brain likes novelty, so a toy seen only on special days can be invigorating. These toys can be stored separately.

The joys of re-giving
The holidays are the perfect time to clean out toys and clothes no longer useful. Children find it much easier to part with toys if they think they are just too grown up to continue playing with them. And what do you do with those toys and clothes that are still in good shape? Teach your children the joy of giving.
A “must own” book for the holidays is Carol Weisman’s Raising Charitable Children. In her chapter, “Getting Past Gimme, Gimme,” Weisman’s suggests making giving a family tradition, starting when kids are 3 years old. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, all members of the family should sort and give away a portion of their “stuff.” She recommends delivering gifts as a family celebration and following that tradition with a family celebration of each other’s blessings. Researchers agree, Weisman says, that children taught to “give” have a richer quality of life all of their life.
These tips work for adults, too. Try them with your own toys and the spaces they occupy. Talk to the child within you about finally making those donations you’ve been promising to make. (Put items in the trunk of your car, so the next time you pass a donation bin, you can drop them right in.) Start now, so that by the time friends and family arrive for the holidays, the only thing stuffed will be the turkey.