How to spot OCD

Dear Childwise:
Can you tell me what the signs are for OCD? My son’s teacher says she thinks he may have it. He does like his routines, but then again his father is the same way, and I think it just is his personality. How do you tell what’s “normal” and what’s not in terms of behavior? Thank you very much.

Questioning Mom

Dear Questioning Mom:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is a diagnosis made by psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and other health professionals. These professionals use criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) to accurately make a diagnosis of OCD. Specific requirements for this anxiety disorder include repetitive thoughts or behaviors that take up a lot of time (at least an hour a day), that are upsetting to the person demonstrating these symptoms, and that cause problems with functioning at school and/or home.
Symptoms required for a diagnosis of OCD cause the individual extreme upset and anxiety and include

ß repetitive behaviors—for example, hand-washing or checking/re-checking;
ß repetitive mental acts—for example, repeating words silently, over and over; and/or
ß repetitive thoughts.

The answer to your question about what’s “normal” and what’s not, therefore, entirely depends upon on how much and how often behaviors occur. And in the case of all diagnoses, the associated behaviors must interfere with something the individual has to do at home or at school and/or how well he gets along with others. Whether or not these descriptions apply to your son would be best determined by discussing your son’s behaviors in depth with a medical or mental health professional. Thank you for your question!

Shaving choice confounds mom

Dear Childwise:
I know I shouldn’t care about this, but I do. My daughter is 14 and will be starting high school. She is not one of the “popular” kids, although she has one or two good friends. She refuses to shave her legs, which are very hairy. I think this will make her stand out (in a bad way) when she gets to high school. I guess I can’t force her into shaving, but what do you make of her attitude? Why would she set herself up for ridicule like this?

Anonymous Mom

Dear Anonymous Mom:
Adolescence is a confusing time—not only for teenagers themselves, but also for adults who interact with them! Frequently, there appear to be competing goals for teenagers. On the one hand, they want to fit in with their peers, who become the focus of their attention. On the other hand, teenagers are interested in establishing their identities and becoming individuals; obviously, the individualizing characteristics and behaviors that teenagers develop vary widely (as we might see anytime we go to the mall!).
Your 14-year-old daughter’s choice may reflect an interest in doing things in her own individual way—an important attitude for developing independence. However, she may not be fully aware of (or even care about) the various ways her choice may impact the perceptions of her peers. Talking with her about her choice in a respectful way that honors her desire to be an individual, as well as ways she might respond to peers who disagree with her choice, is one possibility.
It certainly sounds like you’re in a situation that requires a lot of sensitivity and honest feedback from you at the same time. I know your daughter will appreciate your concern as she transitions to high school—whether or not she ever acknowledges it!