Talking to your children about body safety doesn’t have to be scary

By Kristin Ownby

Talking to your children about safety should be easy, and it should be more than a one-time conversation. You probably find it very simple to talk to your kids about why they should wear a helmet when they ride their bike, or about how to “stop, drop and roll” in case of a fire.
You may not find it as easy to talk about touching and abuse.
This safety lesson is just as important, however, and it doesn’t have to be scary. When you talk to your children about keeping their bodies safe, you aren’t encouraging bad things to happen; you are empowering your children with knowledge and letting them know their bodies are important.
The Prevention Education Department of the Children’s Advocacy Center makes presentations to approximately 10,000 children each year about body safety. We also think it is very important for parents to continue the conversation at home and set up a safety plan with their family.
So, how can you have this conversation with your children?
For children under the age of four, you want to start teaching them the proper names of their body parts. You can do this during bath time, potty time, when you’re helping them change into or out of their clothes, and even when they are playing with their dolls. This helps children know that their bodies are not something to be embarrassed about. You can also talk to them about who might be looking at or touching their bodies (parents, grandparents, medical professionals, etc.) and that no one should touch their bodies and tell them to keep it a secret.
For school-aged children, continue talking about the proper names of body parts and who can see their bodies. You can also talk about the three safety rules if someone is trying to hurt them or is making them feel uncomfortable with their touching. The safety rules are:

1. Say no: Have your children practice saying “no.” Make sure they are comfortable using a loud, assertive voice.
2. Get away: Talk about what you want them to do if someone is trying to take them or prevent them from getting away. Do you want them to fight to try and get away, or do you want them to wait until they have an opportunity to get away without fighting?
3. Tell a grownup: Lastly, have your children make a list of grownups they feel they could talk to if they were hurt or made to feel uncomfortable. Make sure at least one person on their list is not in their family. That way if they are not around their family, they will have someone else they can talk to.

Make sure your children know that their bodies are all theirs, and that no one has the right to hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable with their touches—not even someone they know.  When children are abused, 90 percent of the time it is by someone they know (a parent, step-parent, teacher, coach, other relative, etc.), and it can be hard for children to say no to someone who is supposed to love them and keep them safe.
Lastly, if your child or another child you know tells you he or she has been hurt or abused—believe them. Most children who disclose they have been abused are telling the truth. It is your job to believe the child and report the abuse. If you know a child in Tennessee who has been or is being abused, call 1-877-54-ABUSE—it’s the law. You do not have to be positive that abuse did occur; there are no legal repercussions when making a report in good faith.